Imagine my surprise

It's been so long since I had the heart to write anything, I couldn't remember my own blog address!  I typed "halfmom blogspot" into the google search engine, and I found my blog and so much more.

Someone took my blogger name, "susan aka halfmom", moved the letters around a bit and used it.  Sadly, the first post boasts of the benefits of pornography.

So - sorry to any readers who still exist, or find this by search; it isn't me.  Want to know my thoughts on porn - I think you'll find them adequately expressed here.

Worshipers from Rebels

Jesus was born of a virgin, suffered under Pontius Pilate, died
on the cross and rose from the grave to make worshipers out of
rebels! 

AW Tozer, Whatever Happened to Worship?, pg 11.

Wow do I like this quote - and wow do I need it this morning.  I'm much more of a grumbler than a worshiper today!

Quote of the morning

"God never does something great through us until He does something significant in us!

Chip Ingram, Holy Ambition

In Memoriam

Friend, fellow scientist, delightfully charming man and runcible boy rolled into one, brother, father, uncle, ever proud grandfather, stubborn, photographer, birder, and the very definition of enthusiasm, are just a few things that come to mind when I think of you dear Maalie.  I will miss you, my friend, more than you will ever know.

Just in case you ever wondered what I actually do

Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is a progressive and debilitating autoimmune disease of unknown origin. In MS, immune cells inappropriately attack the body’s nervous system damaging a substance called myelin which acts as a type of insulation for nerve fibers.  Loss of myelin around nerves (lesions) causes dysfunction in the way nerve cells within the brain and spinal cord communicate with each other, resulting in neurological symptoms that can be physical or cognitive in nature.  Patients also experience depression and fatigue that is not associated with the psychological effect of having a chronic disease.  The broad range of symptoms results from several different sources.  First, the number of lesions and their locations within the brain or spinal cord can cause a variety of physical disability symptoms in different body locations.  Whether these physical symptoms are in conjunction with depression, fatigue and cognitive dysfunction further complicates attempts at treatment.  Although there is no known cure for MS, medications attempt to provide a means for either preventing new attacks or decreasing the level of disability that occurs with each subsequent attack.  However, these medications are very expensive and not well tolerated as they require either injections or infusion treatments.  In addition, how well the treatments work is not predictable and may depend on the specific form and disease progression as well as other comorbid conditions such as arthritis, obesity or diabetes.  Interestingly, one biochemical aspect that is consistent across all forms of MS is that there is significant acute and chronic inflammation.  Therefore development of supportive therapies that decrease inflammation would be expected to improve symptoms and/or slow disease progression.  In fact, MS patients with fatigue and depression are frequently responsive to anti-inflammatory drugs.

Some isolated botanical extracts have been show to be protective in MS animal models by modulating immune function and decreasing inflammation. Some also improve cognition and depression in animals, symptoms that are troublesome for the MS patient.  However, some animal studies have found that botanical extracts actually slow recovery from disease.  In addition, botanical extracts may interact with other medications the patient is taking, or may be toxic under certain conditions.  Since berries contain high levels of the antioxidant flavonoids and seem to possess beneficial immune modulatory and anti-inflammatory properties, they may prove a safer and more consistent benefit to MS patients.  Blueberries, in particular, can alter immune function, decrease inflammation and alter expression of inflammation related chemicals thought to be responsible for some of the sickness behavior, such as depression, fatigue and cognitive dysfunction in MS. We have begun to investigate diet therapy with whole, freeze-dried blueberries in mouse models of MS.  In a form of mouse MS that represents an acute and chronically progressive MS presentation, we have shown that dietary supplementation with whole, freeze-dried blueberry powder significantly decreased, by greater than 50%, the incidence of motor defects resulting from disease induction.  In addition, blueberry-supplemented mice that did become ill were significantly less ill that mice receiving no supplementation.  In as second study with a mouse model that represents a progressive, relapsing-remitting form of MS, we found that addition of the blueberry powder late in the disease progression reduced the cumulative physical disability score by 41%.  Additionally, the final disability score at the end of the experiment was significantly reduced in blueberry-supplemented mice.   

      These preliminary studies are both exciting and encouraging as they suggest that that diet therapies such as supplementation with whole, freeze-dried blueberries may provide an easily delivered, well-tolerated, low cost supportive treatment to improve the care and quality of life for MS patients. 

Helen Keller

   Helen and Phillips Brooks wrote letters back and forth.  The young girl with such a heavy burden and the elderly cleric with so many natural gifts, they were so unlike each other.  Yet Brooks recognized that Helen and he did the same thing.  Reaching out of the total darkness of her isolated life, Helen was already touching people's hearts with her courage and noble spirit, already challenging people to look at what could be.  She lived in silence.  She lived in darkness. But out of her silence the Spirit burst forth with grace and power.  And out of her darkness, light shone.  This was what Phillips Brooks had dedicated his life to bringing about:  Let the people hear of what can be.  Let them know what astonishing good can come from God, even in the face of terrible sorrow.
    In one of her letters, Helen told Bishop Brooks that she had always known about God, even before she had any words.  Even before she could call God anything, she knew God was there.  She didn't know what it was.  God had no name for her -- nothing had a name for her.  She had no concept of a name.  But in her darkness and isolation, she knew she was not alone.  Someone was with her.  She felt God's love.  And when she received the gift of language and heard about God, she said she already knew.
    Phillips Brooks was thrilled by this.  This was the God he knew, the God who would come to a lonely child, a frustrated and lonely little girl, and find a way to speak love to her without a word.  He wrote a hymn we have loved ever since; I wonder if he had Helen in mind when he wrote:
 
 

How silently, how silently The wondrous gift is giv'n! So God imparts to human hearts The blessings of his heav'n. No ear may hear his coming, But in this world of sin, Where meek souls will receive him, still The dear Christ enters in.

Love without words.  Love that knows of love even before it knows anything else.  God who comes to the meek, to those who are hidden, to those whom the world discounts.  The old preacher, famous for his eloquence, was like old Simeon at the temple when he heard this from Helen Keller.  It was a confirmation of his ministry of proclamation.  It was all true.  God was really among us.  What Helen knew proved it.

This cracks me up!

"We set a watch upon our emotions day and night lest we become over-spiritual and bring reproach upon the cause of Christ. Which all, if I may say so, is for most of us about as sensible as throwing a cordon of police around a cemetery to prevent a wild political demonstration by the inhabitants."

AW Tozer, Born After Midnight

I have to say that this quote just made me burst out loud when I read it. I realize that, although I have become more and more emotive if not downright emotional over the years, I intuitively distrust emotional responses.  I want some hard "data" to back up what I'm thinking or feeling so that I know that I am not deceived - I want to be convinced that what I feel is "true". 

Scripture is a pretty great witness of itself, so that is always helpful.  Somedays, thought, the only "data" I really need is who I am - and the irrefutable truth that, while I may not be who I need to be yet, I'm sure not who I was.  And, for that, I am most grateful.  Jesus is not only a personal redeemer, He is a transformer of unimaginable creativity and strength. 

Wow - do I think Tozer got this one right!

The Holy Spirit: The Need for Illumination

But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. --1 Corinthians 2:14

The doctrine of the inability of the human mind and the need for divine illumination is so fully developed in the New Testament that it is nothing short of astonishing that we should have gone so far astray about the whole thing. Fundamentalism has stood aloof from the Liberal in self-conscious superiority and has on its own part fallen into error, the error of textualism, which is simply orthodoxy without the Holy Ghost. Everywhere among Conservatives we find persons who are Bible-taught but not Spirit-taught. They conceive truth to be something which they can grasp with the mind. If a man hold to the fundamentals of the Christian faith he is thought to possess divine truth. But it does not follow. There is no truth apart from the Spirit. The most brilliant intellect may be imbecilic when confronted with the mysteries of God. For a man to understand revealed truth requires an act of God equal to the original act which inspired the text....

Conservative Christians in this day are stumbling over this truth. We need to re-examine the whole thing. We need to learn that truth consists not in correct doctrine, but in correct doctrine plus the inward enlightenment of the Holy Spirit. We must declare again the mystery of wisdom from above. A re-preachment of this vital truth could result in a fresh breath from God upon a stale and suffocating orthodoxy.

The Pursuit of Man, 76-77,84.

It's not my job to be your friend

Had a great phone conversation with my daughter today.  She's pretty amazing, even if she is my daughter!  One of the things I enjoy the most in talking with her is that she has the ability to analyze complicated situations and get to the heart of the matter.  She doesn't always get there immediately, but she's as tenacious as a terrier so you can be sure that eventually she will!  She's also pretty determined to find a solution if a solution exists and her mind is flexible enough that it could qualify for the high beam. or a gymnastic mat routine  This allows her to turn and twist a situation inside out as we talk.  She's also willing to consider every permutation I bring up, no matter how far out it may be.  So, it's great fun to talk with her about her students and just life in general.  

I learn a lot in those conversations, sometimes more than she does as we go back and forth, holding the problem out and examining it from every angle.  I think the best part though, is that we are friends in this endeavor.  I'm just as likely to call her to discuss an issue as she is to call me about something she's facing.  This is a pretty great outcome for a parent who always said, "my job is not to be your friend; my job is to be your parent.  You don't have to like me for me to succeed at what I'm called to do".  Somehow, in the course of her growing up, I ended up with a daughter that I'm more than proud of and a friend as well.  

So, it doesn't surprise me that the following title caught my eye when I saw it on a friend's facebook page.  I have to say, I agree with this mom 100%!  Enjoy reading!  I don't want you to be happy...

On snow and Chicago Commuting

Based on my previous post, I thought this morning's Tozer devotional was quite appropriate.  As I move forward with setting up the lab and getting back into real experiments, I am reminded that even the snow outside that tangles the way to work is not a surprise to God.  Or, as my Bible study leader says, "does it occur to you that nothing occurs to God?"

Trials and Pain: Ordered By the Lord

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand. --Psalm 37:23-24

To the child of God, there is no such thing as accident. He travels an appointed way. The path he treads was chosen for him when as yet he was not, when as yet he had existence only in the mind of God.

Accidents may indeed appear to befall him and misfortune stalk his way; but these evils will be so in appearance only and will seem evils only because we cannot read the secret script of God's hidden providence and so cannot discover the ends at which He aims....

The man of true faith may live in the absolute assurance that his steps are ordered by the Lord. For him, misfortune is outside the bounds of possibility. He cannot be torn from this earth one hour ahead of the time which God has appointed, and he cannot be detained on earth one moment after God is done with him here. He is not a waif of the wide world, a foundling of time and space, but a saint of the Lord and the darling of His particular care. 

AW Tozer, in "We Travel an Appointed Way", pp. 3-4

Really, God - I mean, come on, really???

So, I wrote this really nice post - was making a few editorial changes for flow -  and hit a wrong key.  The auto save on the blog immediately saved the deleted version, and ....  the rest is history.

I was writing about yesterday because I wanted to recount how, despite a horrid turn of events at work, God answered a prayer before I even knew that I had a need to pray about.  He also took two seemingly disparate passages of scripture that I'd been studying (Is 30:21 and John 6:68-69) and fused them in embryonic form.  Then He quickened them so that I was aware, as is a mother with the fluttering of her unborn child, of Life within my soul.  And He did it all in a moment, in a flash of time frozen in space. 

So, thanks God - for who and what You have provided, and for getting me through the day with a greater awareness of who You are and who I am.  Thanks for making real to me that only You have the answers for the real questions of life, for reminding me that You care about my work and my lab and that You're more than able to guide and direct me.

Susan

I just couldn't resist

Drew found this and passed it on - thought you might enjoy it as well.  Sad that it's so true!

Me, in "On" mode

I read an interesting blog post by "Every Square Inch" this morning called, "Leaders Are Always On".  It expresses so well the take home point one of my young leaders is learning.  Leaders are watched more carefully than others.

As this young woman is learning, leaders are accountable for even the appearance of their actions.  People are watching.  We often think in terms of what we did, what we said, and what we really meant versus what someone else thinks they heard.  How often do we think in terms of how things appeared to others? 

Appearances can deceiving.  My medical charts describe me as  a "pleasant, middle-aged woman"; and generally speaking, I am.  Two recent comments shed a different light on the subject though.  "When I met you, I  thought you were really intimidating.  Then I got to know you and found out you're just straightforward and I like it."  My young leader framed the same concept a different way.  "Well, most people think you mean 'my way or the highway' when you say something, but I know better than they do.  I know you mean, 'this is what I think' and I can tell you what I think too and you'll  listen and we will talk about it."  

Yes, appearance can be deceiving.  I am both pleasant and straightforward and not particularly intimidating to those who really know me.  But I spend most of my time with those who don't really know me.  This is an interesting paradox if I'm to follow the command to be "edifying all those who hear".  Finding the balance point between caring too much about others' opinions and "no appearance of evil" is a challenge.

ESI's point is well taken; leaders are always "on" since people are always watching.   Perhaps good questions to ask ourselves are, "in what ways am I leading and where are others watching?

P.S. - I'm very proud of my young leader!  She's learning this lesson more quickly than most adults.

Buck

My friend Buck passed away Wednesday evening.  I am very sad that I cannot go to Arkansas for the funeral tonight or the memorial service tomorrow.  So, I will make my own memorial to Buck here.  

My first memories of Buck were from church, a man a bit older than I with an engaging smile and easy manner.  His love of the outdoors was readily apparent; I can easily call back the image of Buck in the back yard with his dogs, an ever present baseball cap on his head.  He was kind and loving - to his wife, his children and to our family, and many others besides.  But these qualities are not the ones that flood my mind when I think of Buck.

While growing up, my daughters tried to stop several immovable objects with their heads.  One of our sons tried to bury a tree (well, a very large, long splinter) deep into his leg.  It was these times, as Buck the physician stitched and mended them, that revealed the character qualities I remember most.  The children were still as he stitched them up; even an 18 month old lay still under his hands as he closed a long gash in her forehead.  They were so still that Buck later wondered aloud to his wife Pam as to why.  What Buck didn't realize was that his calm manner and peaceful countenance in the middle of chaos were the reason for their total trust in his care.  We trusted him and they trusted us.  That is what I remember most about Buck, the calm and peaceful countenance that you knew you could trust and follow. 

In all the years since, some 25 I think, he never violated this trust.  He lived well and he died well, eyes on Another whose calm, peaceful and trustworthy countenance called him home. 

To you my friend - though long absent from my presence, ever present in my memory. Until we meet again...

A.H. Rusher, Jr. Jonesboro- Dr. Albert Holly “Buck” Rusher, Jr., 62, was at home when he went peacefully to be with his Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, on Wednesday, May 26, 2010.

Rusher, born and raised in Brinkley, came to NE Arkansas July 1979 after completing medical school at U.A.M.S in Little Rock, and a general surgery residency at Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas, Texas. He was a general and vascular surgeon who served the community of Jonesboro for 25 years prior to committing to full time medical mission work in Mongolia. Other than his commitment to family, Rusher’s passions included teaching both matters of faith and medicine and spending time outdoors. He is the founding member of Jonesboro Surgical Associates, and served many years as a deacon and life-group leader at Central Baptist Church.

Forward or back...

As I washed my sweaty, weary, broken foot this morning, my mind went back almost 20 years to a conversation about sweaty feet.  A few minutes later, I realized that I wasn't obeying my physical therapist's orders for proper posture and I wondered why it is so hard.

I had a conversation with my daughter yesterday about her crashed college computer that will only start in "safe mode".  I realized how much I'm like that computer.  Sometimes I only start in "safe" mode or I go back to "last known good configuration". 

Paul said, "But one thing I do" forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."   Phil 3:13b,14 (ESV)

So, time to practice my PT's advice and move forward towards some more healthy habits and good memories. 

Morning Reading

An interesting quote from, "Worldliness", Edited by CJ Mahaney

"I've watched Christians dramatically encounter God and then gradually revert to sinful patterns because they failed to change their music listening habits. Sadly and predictably, they were seduced by the world's empty promises communicated through the music they listened to."

Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World

The sound of quiet

I love the sound of quiet, the quiet of early mornings before people are about, the sound of birds and of a gentle breeze; no dogs bark, no music blares from neighboring yards. No passing cars vibrate my walls with their blasting bass; I am quiet; the voices of other people and work, of pain, of daily life and even death, are stilled and I draw away.

Oh how I need to be still, to dwell in the sound of quiet; I need the quiet of His pastures and still waters even when they come through broken bones or poor health. Only then do I hear His voice and remember that He is God; He will be exalted (1Kings 19:12;Ps46:10).

Oh how good it is to be still, to listen to the sound of quiet, to be loved.

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by his love.  Zephaniah 3:17

A Tribute to a Friend | CCEF

A Tribute to a Friend | CCEF

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This reflection from CCEF reminded me so much of my friend that I thought I would shard it with you.

To blog or not to blog, that is the question?

I had an interesting conversation about classroom management with my daughter today. While some teachers are very tolerant of classroom “chatter”, she is not. It’s a distraction for her and makes her a less than effective teacher. It’s simply a matter of style.

I have discovered the same thing about myself. I have a high need for order and quiet and a low tolerance for controversy, even on my blog. So many times in the past year I have started to write and simply stopped at the thought of your comments. I allowed my thoughts to dissipate like clouds that promise but produce no rain. I forgot to stay true to my own style.

So, here I sit laptop in hand. I wish I had some of those words back. With them, I would tell you the story of Betty, my outrageous friend. I would tell you of her offbeat sense of humor; I would tell you that she was bigger than life. I would tell you of her death around 1:30 this morning. And yet no words come, only tears which spring up unbidden. I shake my head a lot as though it is something I cannot believe and then I swallow hard. What can I tell you about Betty? The most important thing to know is that she was as valiant as she was outrageous. She did not loose a battle with cancer; Betty won a battle for life. She fought long; she fought hard and she won. She died well and passed from the arms of her family to the arms of her Savior, Jesus the Christ, the Son of the Living God. The gates of heaven are thrown wide for her much as she used to throw wide the office doors and “announce” her presence. Heaven rings with her outrageous laughter and that is good, for it is all a matter of style.

Seeds

An interesting article that caught my eye this morning.