There is one that is worse still... "I'm sorry if you were offended." That one does not even acknowledge the other person's feelings.
You might not like this, but I have tried to find peace with people and the best I could offer was "I am sorry that you were offended." Hey, it's a start.
The difference between worldly sorrow which leads to death, and godly sorrow which is true repentance (2 Cor; Paul). This has to become a way of life to us, because we are in need of daily forgiveness both to receive and give, as Jesus taught us in "The Lord's Prayer." That is why in the early centuries, or early on, the church was taught to pray (and hopefully from that practice this) this prayer at least every morning and night.
Anyone who seeks to walk in the light ends up confessing sin, because they know they have sin, and do sin. Grace is our only hope in Jesus and this is to be extended through us as well, this grace, as well as received.
Nice. I'll have to show that one around. Thanks for posting it.
Is it more difficult to forgive someone, who has sinned against you, or to ask for forgiveness for having sinned against someone?
It's more difficult for me to say I'm sorry and ask for forgiveness, and so when I do I usually have the flesh kicking into gear to try and soften the guilt.
And forgiving can be rough, that's for sure.
However, there are times when I have been able, and it's when Christ's grace is sufficient. 2 Cor. 12:10: "For when I am weak, then I am strong."
For context: you know that I have done customer service work for years. People sometimes try to finagle something they didn't pay for by complaining. My job is to talk them down from the ledges, and to some extent, I need to acknowledge their concerns.
...even if there is a mountain of evidence that they are seeking sordid gain.
There is a struggle I think in realizing that the heart is deceitful and beyond cure (or desperately wicked) and the grace in Jesus which God works in someone's life. So that we may do well to hold reservations over someone's alleged repentance. Looking for fruit from their lives in good works done out of love of God and others. But looking for what indeed can be a genuine heart change in God. Trouble is we just don't arrive to perfection in this life. Therefore we have the mix of encouragement over what God has done and is doing. And the realization that this is ongoing in Jesus, never done in this life.
Yes - I agree with Craver.."sorry if you were offended" is worse. It's the classic "non-apology" apology - it requires nothing in terms of humility from the "apologizer"since it actually assumes no culpability.
I understand what Craver means as a starting point though - "I'm sorry that you were offended"is sometimes all we can muster. Here's a slight mod that might be a wee bit better.
"I'm sorry - I know that I offended you by [my words, my actions, etc...] " It's a little more specific and carries a little more personal responsibility. It doesn't concede that we're wrong but sometimes, that's where we find ourselves as a starting point.
How about something like: "I am aware that my words offended you, however I'm afraid that the truth often hurts and maybe a moment's self-appraisal would be good for you in the long term. Then you may eventually thank me".
11 comments:
There is one that is worse still... "I'm sorry if you were offended." That one does not even acknowledge the other person's feelings.
You might not like this, but I have tried to find peace with people and the best I could offer was "I am sorry that you were offended." Hey, it's a start.
yes, you're right, that one is worse!
dunno whether I "might not like" or not - guess it would depend on what came before and afterward :)
The difference between worldly sorrow which leads to death, and godly sorrow which is true repentance (2 Cor; Paul). This has to become a way of life to us, because we are in need of daily forgiveness both to receive and give, as Jesus taught us in "The Lord's Prayer." That is why in the early centuries, or early on, the church was taught to pray (and hopefully from that practice this) this prayer at least every morning and night.
Anyone who seeks to walk in the light ends up confessing sin, because they know they have sin, and do sin. Grace is our only hope in Jesus and this is to be extended through us as well, this grace, as well as received.
Nice. I'll have to show that one around. Thanks for posting it.
Is it more difficult to forgive someone, who has sinned against you, or to ask for forgiveness for having sinned against someone?
It's more difficult for me to say I'm sorry and ask for forgiveness, and so when I do I usually have the flesh kicking into gear to try and soften the guilt.
And forgiving can be rough, that's for sure.
However, there are times when I have been able, and it's when Christ's grace is sufficient. 2 Cor. 12:10: "For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Have a great evening Susan
For context: you know that I have done customer service work for years. People sometimes try to finagle something they didn't pay for by complaining. My job is to talk them down from the ledges, and to some extent, I need to acknowledge their concerns.
...even if there is a mountain of evidence that they are seeking sordid gain.
There is a struggle I think in realizing that the heart is deceitful and beyond cure (or desperately wicked) and the grace in Jesus which God works in someone's life. So that we may do well to hold reservations over someone's alleged repentance. Looking for fruit from their lives in good works done out of love of God and others. But looking for what indeed can be a genuine heart change in God. Trouble is we just don't arrive to perfection in this life. Therefore we have the mix of encouragement over what God has done and is doing. And the realization that this is ongoing in Jesus, never done in this life.
Yes - I agree with Craver.."sorry if you were offended" is worse. It's the classic "non-apology" apology - it requires nothing in terms of humility from the "apologizer"since it actually assumes no culpability.
I understand what Craver means as a starting point though - "I'm sorry that you were offended"is sometimes all we can muster. Here's a slight mod that might be a wee bit better.
"I'm sorry - I know that I offended you by [my words, my actions, etc...] " It's a little more specific and carries a little more personal responsibility. It doesn't concede that we're wrong but sometimes, that's where we find ourselves as a starting point.
How about something like: "I am aware that my words offended you, however I'm afraid that the truth often hurts and maybe a moment's self-appraisal would be good for you in the long term. Then you may eventually thank me".
Happy birthday!
Happy, Blessed Thanksgiving to you, Susan, and to all the regulars of this blog!
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