I don’t know about the rest of you, but sometimes – quite frequently of late – I have a great deal of trouble controlling my thoughts. In fact, it’s why I wanted some input from you on obsession, addiction and balance. This is a particularly important topic to me right now as I know that, according to scripture, my thoughts control who I am and how I therefore act (As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Prov 23:7). And to be brutally honest, it’s just been a rough summer! I have found myself, more than once, wondering who I am and if I even know myself anymore.
I’m currently reading No Stones by MC Ferree. It is a book about addiction and about the freedom from addiction available in Christ. She uses a rather simple definition of addiction: “to have a pathological relationship with a mood-altering substance or behavior”. She also is pretty quick to point out that not all mood-altering substances are bad and gives as examples, music, controlled breathing and exercise. The problem and hence the addiction arises when there is a pathological or harmful relationship between the individual and the mood-altering substance or activity.
What moves an individual into a pathological relationship with an activity or substance that, for someone else, might be healthy? What does an addiction actually look like? Ferree lists the characteristics of an addiction as: 1) compulsive, 2) obsessive, 3) ongoing, despite negative consequences and 4) creating tolerance. Since at least three of these items are behaviors, it seems to me that what and how we think, in our heart of hearts, is something that needs to examined – and certainly for me in order to understand my behavior.
Let my remind you that I previously have hypothesized that 1) we are all searching for something; 2) the search is desperate, personal and ongoing; and 3) we will continue to search until we find what our heart seeks, or until we give up in despair.
So, think along with me, if you will, as I examine what things I compulsively seek, what thoughts I obsessively think and what actions I have been willing to continue even though I know the consequences of sin are always death (Rom 6:23).
I’m currently reading No Stones by MC Ferree. It is a book about addiction and about the freedom from addiction available in Christ. She uses a rather simple definition of addiction: “to have a pathological relationship with a mood-altering substance or behavior”. She also is pretty quick to point out that not all mood-altering substances are bad and gives as examples, music, controlled breathing and exercise. The problem and hence the addiction arises when there is a pathological or harmful relationship between the individual and the mood-altering substance or activity.
What moves an individual into a pathological relationship with an activity or substance that, for someone else, might be healthy? What does an addiction actually look like? Ferree lists the characteristics of an addiction as: 1) compulsive, 2) obsessive, 3) ongoing, despite negative consequences and 4) creating tolerance. Since at least three of these items are behaviors, it seems to me that what and how we think, in our heart of hearts, is something that needs to examined – and certainly for me in order to understand my behavior.
Let my remind you that I previously have hypothesized that 1) we are all searching for something; 2) the search is desperate, personal and ongoing; and 3) we will continue to search until we find what our heart seeks, or until we give up in despair.
So, think along with me, if you will, as I examine what things I compulsively seek, what thoughts I obsessively think and what actions I have been willing to continue even though I know the consequences of sin are always death (Rom 6:23).
One final thought – I have no scripture to back it up, so I’d appreciate it if anyone knows if this is actually a biblical principle, but it seems to me that unguarded areas of strength are more dangerous than fortressed areas of weakness.
16 comments:
hey susan,
interesting thoughts. and very transparent too, which i appreciate.
addiction is an interesting subject because i find it is so much more rampant than we'd like to think. at my previous church, the pastor actually preached on the 12 steps of AA. each week he went through one of the steps and it was SO good. as many know, the twelve steps start with our admission of having a problem and then follows with the admission of us not being in control and needing god to take control, reconciling with others, etc.
and i agree that, for example, someone having a porn addiction and setting up measures to deal with that and bring it under god's control is living in more dependence and honor to god than someone who lets their pride problem go unchecked. i think that's what jesus was getting at with the outside of the cup and the inside of the cup admonishment. we drink from the inside, so let's pay attention to how clean that is!
so i commend your self examination and encourage you to press through and ask god to take control of your mind. pray the divine hours. redirect your mind towards scripture and invite your friends to pray for victory.
may god bless your vulnerability.
Susan
I would recommend the books from an org. called Christian Counseling Education Foundation CCEF. www.ccef.org
They have very biblically centered materials that speak to some of your questions including a book on "Addiction" by Edward Welch and "Seeing with New Eyes" by David Powlison.
Check it out and see if you find it interesting and helpful
What does that last statement mean--"unguarded areas of strength are more dangerous than walled-in weaknesses" (paraphrase)?
THANK YOU SO MUCH for the cookies and CDs!! I can't access Gmail from school, so I can't even e-mail for now. But until I can talk to you over the phone, thanks so much!
You are more than welcome Andrew. Afterall, what's a halfmom for?
We all know to guard ourselves in areas of known weakness, areas where we know that we are particularly tempted to sin. Clearly it would be unwise not to be on guard in these areas.
What I was thinking about is whether it is unwise to consider that you have any areas of "strenght" because you would tend to let your guard down in those areas - rather like being ambushed because you were caught unaware.
Susan, You say so much in such a short post with so few words. Worth pondering.
I'm not anti-psychology and certainly limited in my knowledge of it. I think most all of us could benefit from the right kind and right counselor.
I think scripture is loaded with all kinds of people of faith who in one way or another did not have it all together. But the key is that they continued in faith in spite of their foibles and follies.
Even Jesus would be looked on as definitely not balanced, and actually crazy, unless what he said in scripture was actually right.
What gets us down towards out is when we let these weak areas take control of us. That's a hard one. It needs much prayer of ourselves and especially of others. And I agree with clc that praying the prayers of the church such as in Phyllis Tickle's books is helpful, along with mostly free praying.
Personalities and chemical makeup plays a part in this. I think I'm much more prone to struggle than some, but that some may fall prey in their strength because they are convinced that they have it all together. Whereas I may end up being stronger in some areas because I have to work at it, even in battle mode for so long.
I distrust people who seem to think they have it all together. As John Wimber said, "Never trust a man who does not walk with a limp."
Anything unguarded is in danger. Look at Moses who became the meekest or most quietly humble person on earth. What kept him out of the promised land except losing out with reference to that very strength?
Thinking a little more on it: I have to think in scriptural terms. It's stronghold territory in an area that has become a sin to us, even idolatry. It must be treated as such, torn down ruthlessly. Yet there is something in us that continues, after the initial exhileration of doing so, something within us that pulls us back there. But that's where we need the prayers of others, while we also pray for them in their downtimes.
We need to follow through in our weakness, in the word of God and in prayer, looking to God by the Spirit to give us wisdom and strength where we have none.
This is what I do, and what I'm going through lately myself.
Let me add that I see life like a journey. Summer has hit you in a bad way. It's a weird part of your journey. And I run into different things, though I often see the same kinds of things coming at me if I havent' dealt with them adequately before.
But the good thing about the journey is that there's hope for change and new seasons that along with the troubles are good.
(just picked up Tiffany)...though it doesn't seem like it when you're going through it.
I really have to keep my mind on scripture and on God and his will and his working in my life. So easy to fall back, even when you're on guard it seems, but I just see that as a bumpy part of the ride.
Why can't I say something (even though it may not be hitting target) in just a few words?
But I want to add, because this is important for me that I not only get rid of the bad, but as in the letters, I put on the good in Jesus. And I seek to do this and act relationally, towards God and others. And I try to be ready to be strengthened in new ways in regard to my situation, ways which I'm ready for only in time; I try to ready myself for new difficulties to overcome in my growth in a matter.
Hope that makes sense to you or to someone. I hope you get some better help from others. At least these comments of mine are not published on your blog along with your post when people come on!
Hey, the way I comment at times on blogs makes it look like I'm obsessed! And I think that's true. As well as compulsive! :)
Gotcha. You meant "Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall" (1 Cor. 10:12).
Off to my Mums 70th party n Wales so can I skip homework half Mum?
In talking with someone else I am realizing more fully and with more focus (paradoxically enough) how when we overfocus on a problem, on a sin, on a person we're struggling with or in reference to, whatever, that when we overfocus we can unwittingly play into the hands of the enemy and into our sin. It makes it that much harder for us to break away from it. I think this is an element to consider for us, one part of helping us.
I need to confess the sin to God, apply wisdom through prayer and the word- from God, and go on, getting into other things and not letting that one thing dictate who I am and what I do or don't do- more and more that being the case.
Like everything else, easier said than done. But I think this can be a help for many of us. I've noticed myself that when I'm so adamantly focused on the problem and what I'm to do, I unwittingly am still focused on what has caused my wrong heart attitude- certainly what my wrong heart had went to in the first place.
Trying to focus on God and get involved with other matters and people, as well as approaching "normally" the person that may be a part of my problem- I think all of this holds some answer and promise.
But just a few thoughts, again....
Great thoughts Ted - and I wholeheartedly agree.
This is something I have definitely experienced this summer - the focusing on the person/problem making it worse and not better.
I know that I have to "put off" the sinful attitude and the resulting actions, but focusing on the person/problem just makes it worse because now my mind is focused on the person/problem as much as when there was active sin. I put off sin by putting on righteousness, by refocusing where I need to be, as we are instructed in Eph 4:22-24.
More later.
half-mom.... i don't have a whole lot to say, other than, at least you are aware of this pattern. that's a HUGE thing in itself. like clc said, it's the first step in healing and conquering the addiction/obsession.
i tend to have obsessive thought-patterns, too...and i get very frustrated with myself. the thoughts themselves might be legitimate, but by obsessing, i start becoming fearful and worrisome...which definitely isn't healthy. so i'm with ya on this one....
Thank you for sharing.
While I agree with Ted that an "over focus" isn't healthy, I think it is appropriate to get to the root of the issue. I've shared on this blog before that I have struggled with addiction. Figuring out why I so desperately needed to "escape" was key to my (ongoing) recovery.
Praying for you today.
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