It has been a little over 3 weeks now since my daughter and her husband moved away. I would love to tell you that the house is back in order and the garage neat and orderly - but it is not so. Life has been hectic at work and I have been on a "low energy" cycle. August, with ragweed and mold, always does this to me. So, it's about this time of year that I begin to look forward to the first frost that will kill the ragweed even as I hate to say good bye to summer!
But more is going on than just seasonal allergies and a lack of love for housekeeping. I have been busy thinking of how to dispose of memories, or at least pieces of them. My daughter is the sentimental one of the family. She's the keeper of memories - they drift and float away from me. She remembers words and days and stories and looks and smells and tastes. She has (well, I'm the current custodian) her "super Olivia" cape that she made when she was in kindergarten and wanted to grow up to be a super hero. Her childhood dolls and all their accessories, her dollhouse, doll bed, and the little rocker her grandfather made her are still here, waiting to be claimed when she has a little one of her own.
But there were other keepsakes with significant memory value that have accumulated over the years. Memory people are like that; they accumulate memories without letting any of the old ones go. These things she left behind so that I could find them "good homes" where they would be loved the way that she loved them. She is not a "thing" person; she does not accumulate because she love stuff. She has these things because they remind her of precious, and sometimes even painful, parts of her life.
There was her American Girl doll loom where she learned to weave - and discovered that she just didn't enjoy working with her hands (she's the people person - I'm the craftsman). It is now in the possession of Emma's mommy until Emma is big enough to play with it. It will be cherished there because Emma loves Miss Olivia, her Sunday School teacher and Emma's mommy loves Miss Olivia just because she is Olivia and because she loves Emma.
And the Winnie the Pooh bedroom things; they are with a delighted Grace who loves them all the more because they came from Olivia. And the rose bedroom things that went in the first yellow bedroom - the bedroom that contained great happiness and then great loss - these things will go this week to young Kara who will love them because they belonged to her grown up friend Olivia. Kara caught the bouquet at Olivia's wedding. The white and blue tea set will reside with Kara as well. The purple accessories from the current yellow room are with Hannah - most of them anyway. The rest will go to Kacie. Sarah took some household items that were duplicates and she will use them and miss her friend. And so the list goes - little pieces of things that had loving memories connected to them, distributed among another generation of little girls who will attaching loving memories to them because of their previous own.
The things are nothing in and of themselves. It is the shared memories they represent that matter. It is the people who matter. Our lives are like that, twining in and out of one another's lives. Thing mix and meld and then a part breaks away to go to another home, making new memories there. The flux of memories, of times shared, of lives intertwined never leaves. I'm glad there's heaven where the memories will never fade and not things will ever be needed to anchor the memories in place.
38 comments:
Goodness me, you should see my little house! I have a whole cabinet and set of shelves with momentos from the past (and unfolding present); I call it my "shrine of life". It includes some bits of rock I brought back from Antarctica when I worked there in the 70s.
Very nice.
I kind of get a kick out of seeing old things from my past, if I do, like my little red tractor I pedalled around the basement, my teddy bear, etc. Though it does seem that at least for now those things are gone.
But good over there that they're gone to others now who will treasure them. I'm sure that was hard to do. But hope you keep some of the memories with you.
It's always a big decision what to chuck and what to keep! My own house is full of what Peter calls 'tasteless tat'! Also I've got things of my mothers that can never be replaced, including some of her garden plants that are being divided and given to Jenny for her garden.
Is Ragweed the same as Ragwort? It's a yellow weedy flower that grows wild in fields. If horses eat it, it will kill them.
Ragwort is the plant that host the black and yellow caterpillars of the Cinnabar Moth .
I know all about ragwort and Cinnabar moth caterpillars. When I used to walk down the valley to Pobbles beach and Joe was a todler, we used to have to stop at each ragwort flower to inspect the caterpillars, and if any had fallen off, carefully put them back on. It used to take us ages to get to the beach.
What I wanted to know was whether ragwort is the same as the American ragweed that get's up Susan's nose. Literally as well as metarphorically.
Oh, there is quite a lot left, Ted. Her special toys and things, even the "Super Olivia" cape. She just needed to decide what things are most special to keep and what could now be parted with to go to new homes.
Yes Maalie, even I have a few rocks. Mostly I have kept a few geods to remind me that things that look ugly on the outside can still produce beauty on the inside:)
Llama, here is what I found about ragweed - perhaps Maalie can translate it into real talk for us to compare.
Common Ragweed
Scientific Name: Ambrosia artemisiifolia
Height: 1 to 5 feet
Stems: green, hairy
Leaves: divided into narrow segments, each irregularly lobed.
Flowers: 2 to 4 inch long terminal spikes of green to yellow flowers.
There are 17 species of ragweed in North America.
Ragweed starts blooming in Pennsylvania in mid-August as the days become shorter and the nights longer. Pollen production ends mid-September as temperatures start dropping below 60 °F.
It is estimated that one ragweed plant can produce up to 1 billion pollen grains.
That means they are quite different. Our common ragwort is Senecio jacobaea, obviously not the same as your Ambrosia. A strange name for something that is not nice!
Yes, I've just googled it too, and it's not the same as our poisonous (to horses) ragwort.
How do you know I googled it? Why don't you think I just knew?
I just KNEW you googled. I think it's called 'gnossis'
I love having the two of you on here at the same time - it makes me smile!!
The question is, do you have this noxious (to my allergies at least) weed in the UK. If not, I'm afraid I'm not going to get much sympathy from you!!
er ... no.
today's word is: beast
Lorenzo: Well I happened to know that Ragwort is genus Senecio but had to remind myself of the specific name (remember I taught ecology field courses for 30 years,it is a very common plant).
But we are hijacking poor Halfmom's post again, it's not actually a botanical post. But the evolution of flowering plants is a fascinating topic. And we could always discuss the carboniferous epoch that lasted 30 million years when all the coal and oil was formed, and apples make you do naughty things. Maybe you are all glad I am going away for a few days...
Lorenzo: No, we don't have it here, or no, she's not going to get any sympathy from you? We need to know...
no, we don't have it here.
If this is turning into a botanical blog, can anyone tell me why I am only getting male flowers on my squash plants?
Maybe you have an attack of squash beetle?
Of course it could simply be that you have a search-image biased towards males. I will have a look for you tomorrow.
Thanks Maalie - I was just getting ready to ask her the same question :)
Glad to know I can get some sympathy from my Llama - now you be nice to her while your in her home. No being mouthy or saying unkind things.
I don't mind being hijacked for botany - I love flowers and trees and grasses - it's just the ones I'm allergic to that I'm not so fond of!
Oh I love that phrase 'don't be mouthy'. It's wonderful. Sometimes I say 'don't be lippy' but yours is best.
I don't want male flowers because they don't turn into fruit. Like most males, they are just a nuisance. :)
>No being mouthy or saying unkind things.
No worries there, she can make me feel like an insignificant worm.
Well, you won't get fruit without pollination and you need male flowers and honey bees for that. Though you can do an artificial insemination with a paint brush.
Gosh, you almost made ME cry reading this! I'm glad to see these memorable items going to good homes in the hands of young ladies who love Olivia.
I dunno, Maalie - sometimes we "scientific" types can be a bit insensitive :)
Enjoy your trip!
Ah, Drew my dear. I miss you guys quite a lot!! It makes me almost - well, maybe a little bit more than that - cry sometimes.
Insignificant worm indeed! Fat chance. Clever clogs Maalie has a reply for everything! He's doing his humble Uriah Heap impersonation again!
I know all about paint brushes, but if there is no female flowers to pollenate, then paint brushes aren't a lot of use.
Anyway, the proper important news is that I'm a grandmother again! Jack and Miki had a little boy today (yesterday in English and American time) and they are calling him Owen, which is a name I love!
Congratulations, dear Llama on your new grandson! That's two boys for them, right? Glad that all are doing well.
I rather fancy the Uriah analogy. It makes me laugh.
Maalie, are cantalopes the same way? I have had ever so many blooms but no baby cantelopes!
Yes Susan, all marrow, melon, squash family plants have male and female flowers. The female flower has a tiny fruit behind the flower and the male flower is just on a stem.
Mostly the male flowers are a nuisance, and only one is needed, but I can't find ANY female flowers at all. Courgettes (zucchini to you!) have mostly female flowers and don't seem to need a male at all. Lucky old them!
Yes Llama, that seems to be what the problem is - I've looked at most of the blooms and none has a little fruit "bulb" - or whatever you call them - except 1 of about 40.
And to the rest of reading, since Llama and I are the only females, I'll suggest she is likely speaking tongue in cheek, well mostly :)
Hah!!
Mrs. Craver has harvested a few zucchini's from this year's garden. They are yummy!
Lucky you, Craver. I never even planted flowers this year - I just have what sprang back up from last year!
Will miss you guys on Sunday -headed to SC in the morning to see my folks.
Well done Mrs Craver! She obviously had lots of female flowers.
Strange isn't it that without religion being mentioned, how well we are all getting on!
I would like to send my condolences to the American people on the death of Ted Kenedy.
Thanks for that sentiment, 'Renzo. That was kind of you. I might add that though I don't rejoice in his passing, I'm glad at least that he's not in politics any more.
They are an amazing family even if didn't always agree with their politics. They have given incredibly much of their lives to the US.
I wonder if Senator Edward Kennedy made his peace with God?
I sent him a letter years ago, and wrote how I wish he would change his stance on abortion, and a few other things.
You know, he sent me a personal letter, and thanked me that I was praying for him. He said, "I can sure use the prayer."
I admire JFK, and even Robert, but their father was quite the power hungry guy. Ted had that horrible ordeal with the woman who drowned: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chappaquiddick_incident
I hope he settled this with the Lord.
However, I too mourn his death, for he was an elected Senator, and a man created in the image of God.
I found this and this interesting on Ted Kennedy. I have a new perspective and appreciation for him from what I've learned this week.
Also I thought this was very good from Ted Kennedy, Jr.
I certainly don't mean to exalt a mere human being in all of this. God alone is to be exalted; we are but dust, even though made in his image and special to him.
I look for signs of God's grace wherever I can find it. And in spite of, which I think we can say is clearly the case with us all in Jesus. Though we certainly don't want to excuse sin/what is wrong, when we're aware of it.
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