I have just finished reading a most interesting book, “Running Scared: fear, worry, and the God of rest” by Edward T. Welch, one of my favorite authors. As usual, his understanding of life and its difficulties, human frailty and the true nature of God have been helpful in working through the juxtaposition of my faith and my feelings.
What strikes me as ironic is that there is never a struggle between my faith and my science. They lay along side each other in a way that each strengthens the other. The words of CS Lewis express it well, “In science we have been reading only the notes to a poem; in Christianity we find the poem itself.”
What troubles me is that my theology and my feelings just don’t always line up, and then I must decide which to follow, my faith or my fear. Hebrews 11:6, “and without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” I believe that He is, I come and I seek, yet, do I really expect to be rewarded? Probably not, and yet, it is what the passage says.
And again, in 1John 4:18-19, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.” If you know me, you know that I am a fearful creature, so surely again, my feelings do not line up, not yet anyway, with what scripture says. I know He loves me, enough to sacrifice His only Son for me, so why would I doubt that He would provide for me what I truly need. And yet I fear punishment for just not getting life quite right, something I manage to do on a regular basis!
So, how do I handle this? I walk by faith, not by sight (2Cor 5:7, Co 2:6,7), remembering that my feelings may lie to me (Jer 17:9) and that what is true, what is trustworthy, is God’s character as revealed in scripture. He alone is unchanging (James 1:17).
What strikes me as ironic is that there is never a struggle between my faith and my science. They lay along side each other in a way that each strengthens the other. The words of CS Lewis express it well, “In science we have been reading only the notes to a poem; in Christianity we find the poem itself.”
What troubles me is that my theology and my feelings just don’t always line up, and then I must decide which to follow, my faith or my fear. Hebrews 11:6, “and without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” I believe that He is, I come and I seek, yet, do I really expect to be rewarded? Probably not, and yet, it is what the passage says.
And again, in 1John 4:18-19, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.” If you know me, you know that I am a fearful creature, so surely again, my feelings do not line up, not yet anyway, with what scripture says. I know He loves me, enough to sacrifice His only Son for me, so why would I doubt that He would provide for me what I truly need. And yet I fear punishment for just not getting life quite right, something I manage to do on a regular basis!
So, how do I handle this? I walk by faith, not by sight (2Cor 5:7, Co 2:6,7), remembering that my feelings may lie to me (Jer 17:9) and that what is true, what is trustworthy, is God’s character as revealed in scripture. He alone is unchanging (James 1:17).
And – I remember that feelings follow actions – I check the actions that have led me to this place of confusion and pain and then I repent. I love Welch’s little axiom, “when in doubt, repent” as I find it to be so true. Then, I step out in faith again and do what I know to be true, what is according to His Words, trusting once again, for His positive outcome and knowing that correct feelings will follow correct actions.
2 comments:
I really like that Lewis quote. Few, I suppose, would see the poetry in science, but I do.
Susan,
Excellent words, and I identify readily with them. If I went on my feelings, I'd be in trouble. Yet they're God-given and can be indicators of something wrong, or of needed growth.
Great quote from C.S. Lewis as well. I'm with L.L. on the science and poetry thing. We see the beauty there and surely it easily evokes faith.
Albert Einstein believed good science is done with artful imagination (I go on my memory here, as in most places, really).
Faith and feeling. I need to think more on this. Thanks for getting the ball rolling for me again on this subject.
I know one thing for me: I just can't go on feeling. I was called an emotional cripple years ago by a counselor friend at Bible institute in Canada, and he was right. I don't want to ignore or run over my emotions roughshod, but at the same time I must walk by faith in God's word, regardless of how I feel.
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